Inside: Face difficult conversations with employees exuding confidence. Here’s how to stop avoiding them and manage those tough conversations like the pro you are!
Whether you have one employee or a few dozen, chances are you are going to have to face an uncomfortable conversation with them at least once. Yes, we are all human, but you can’t just let problem behaviors slide because it’s awkward or you’re unsure about how to face it.
Instead of avoiding these tough conversations, face them head-on, and come out all the stronger because of it.
Here’s how to have those difficult talks in a way that will help your employees grow and keep their respect for you at the same time.
![A woman sittingg at a desk contemplating the conversation she needs to have with her employee.](https://bossbrilliance.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Boss-Brilliance-Pins-683x1024.jpg)
Types Of Difficult Conversations With Employees
Before we get into how to have these chats, I want to clear up what I mean by “difficult conversations”. There are actually quite a few different things you might have to face with your employees.
These things can come up with full-time, part-time, and even freelance employees.
Not Meeting Goals
One of the most common situations you might have to chat with them about is if they aren’t meeting the goals. Employees that aren’t reaching their full potential can actually cost you money. It will hurt your bottom line to pay employees that are working inefficiently.
Employees Not Getting Along
Of course, this only comes up if you have more than one employee. As long as there are groups of people, problems will come up from time to time.
This could be as simple as miscommunication and as messy as sexual harassment allegations. Depending on how serious the claims are, you might want to ask for some professional advice from other human resources professionals.
Misrepresenting The Company Online
Do you have a policy for social media use for employees? If not, create one. Some small business owners run into issues when employees post things on social media. This can be especially true for conversations and posts about your business or spending time on social media while at work.
Disciplinary Conversations
One of the most common difficult conversations you might have to have with employees is one about disciplinary action. This can include any of the following issues:
- Missing work
- Sloppy work
- Being consistently late to work
- Unsafe working environment
How To Have Difficult Conversations With Employees
Now that you know the types of conversations you might face as an employer, let’s look at how to prepare for them. It’s best to have them sooner rather than later.
Don’t put them off.
If you have the difficult conversations in a timely manner, you will have a better outcome. I know, it’s nerve-wracking for many of us to think about saying anything negative.
Are you scared of confrontation? Don’t be! Here’s how to prepare for the conversations with “EASE” and come out of them stronger.
4 Steps to Have the Conversation with “E.A.S.E.”
This simple process will help you prepare for and have these undesired yet important conversations. My “E.A.S.E.” method will walk you through step by step the process for addressing performance issues with your employees.
- Explain the situation
- Ask clarifying questions
- Share the desired behavior
- Embrace next steps
1. Explain the situation
Start the conversation by sharing the observed behavior or undesirable results. Focus on the facts, share observations or outcomes. Be sure to give specific examples to help the employee understand your concern. For example, instead of saying “you’re not cutting it here” give details e.g. you’ve missed the deadline on the last 3 projects, you don’t share ideas in meetings, your sales are down 20% etc.
2. Ask clarifying questions
Seek information and context from the employee. It’s always wise to not make assumptions and give the employee an opportunity to share more about what’s going on.
The conversation should be a dialogue where both the leader and employee are sharing and exchanging information. Nobody likes to be talked at. This will put them on the defensive and make them less open to change.
Instead, ask open-ended questions without accusation. Tell them you want to answer any questions they have. For some people, just saying “do you have any questions for me?” is too open-ended. It creates anxiety and they go blank.
Instead, you can offer some questions for them, such as, “do you have any questions about this goal?”
3. Share the desired behavior
Remind them of any written policies or standards you have as an organization. You might want to have this printed out so you can refer to it in the meeting. This takes you out of it and depersonalizes the entire thing.
Point out the standards that the employee had initially agreed to when hired or trained. Then explain the less-than-desirable behaviors that caused this meeting to take place.
As a business leader, you are also a coach. Remember to explain how your employee can improve. Describe the future desired behavior…e.g. I value your ideas and would like for you to share them in our team meetings. Explain what’s at stake and the goals they could reach if they work harder and dedicate more of their time and attention.
4. Embrace next steps
That moves directly to my next point. Set realistic goals. Work with your employee to create realistic goals that will change the behavior.
For example, if they aren’t making enough sales, maybe make smaller goals of making more cold calls or finding more contacts.
Try to figure out the base cause of the behavior and work together to solve it.
Finally, don’t forget to follow up. As you end the meeting, set a date when you’ll circle back with them and check on their progress. When you set goals together, the second meeting will give you a chance to see if the goals were specific enough and whether they found any new struggles.
Preparation for the Conversation
Now that you know the simple “E.A.S.E” method to having a difficult conversation, let’s consider some other factors to help the dialogue go as smooth as possible.
Plan Out the Conversation
Before the meeting even starts, create a plan. Write down the details of the E.A.S.E. method.
- What is the situation
- What questions will you ask to help clarify their perspective
- What is the desired behavior?
- What are some examples of next steps? It’s good to have some ideas, but remain open-minded.
It’s also helpful to keep your desired outcome in mind…especially if you’re frustrated. Without a focus on the end result, it’s easy to lose focus. You could end up just venting…letting your employee know that something isn’t right, but with no real plan to move forward.
Be Matter Of Fact
Square your shoulders. Take a deep breath. Keep to the actual facts.
The best way to power through this conversation and keep the focus where it needs to be (i.e. the employee’s behavior and what needs to change) is to say the facts right away.
This will give them less time to distract you from the actions that you need to change and prevent any chances of miscommunication.
Keep Personal Feelings Out of It
The best way to decrease the emotional charge of the meeting is to keep your personal feelings out of it. Remind your employee of this too so they can attempt to control their emotions as well.
Check your emotions at the door. Remind yourself that you are fixing a problem that is costing the company money. You can’t afford to let this continue.
It’s business, not personal.
Focus On Positive Achievements
No matter what, we aren’t robots. So, to encourage a positive atmosphere, focus on the positive things about your employee. Thank them for something and tell them why you value them so much.
As you move to the tough part, remind them that there is a way to fix this and you can do this together.
Control the Conversation
While it’s always a fantastic idea to let them participate in the conversation, you always need to maintain control of it. This is where some meeting prep will come in handy. If it helps, you can even print out a meeting outline so they know what’s coming up.
Bring A Witness If Needed
If the problem is serious enough, you might need to ask for someone else to be in the meeting with you. This is necessary if you are responding to something legal, such as sexual harassment or possible hate speech.
Ways To Communicate Tough News
Not all difficult conversations with employees need to be in person. It all depends on the type of news you have to chat about.
Email is appropriate when it is a minor issue and you want a record of your communication and their response.
This includes questions about project status or attitude issues in the workplace.
Phone Conversation
In today’s remote world, a phone conference may be your only option for a difficult conversation. In traditional face-to-face organizations, phone conversations are not ideal because you can’t see the employee’s non-verbal response and the conversation may be more difficult to control.
If you have your conversation over the phone, then send a follow-up email to document the conversation. Thank the employee for their time and summarize the issue that was discussed along with any agreements for next steps.
In-Person Meeting
As awkward as they might be, in-person meetings are the most effective for difficult decisions. When you meet face-to-face (or even on video chat) you can respond to facial and body cues.
These are best for conversations about disciplinary issues and anything that they need to change. Again, it’s wise after the meeting to send a follow-up email summarizing the issue and documenting agreements.
Difficult Conversations With Employees: Final Thoughts
It’s really not as scary as you might think! You can master these conversations – just face them with courage and a big dose of preparation.
Focus on the positive, set goals together, and you’ll both grow your business together.
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